Marshmallow Toasting 101

Each member of my family has their own method for toasting marshmallows. See if you can guess which family member uses which method.
-Justin

1) Slowly toasts the marshmallow above the fire to a perfect light golden brown then peels off the outer layer and re-toasts the molten center still on the stick.

2) Sacrifices three or four marshmallows in the fire before finally coming up with one just right. Usually falls way behind in the smore count.

3) Thrusts the marshmallow into the center of the camp fire, immolating it beyond recognition.

4) Doesn't really care for marshmallows but toasts one anyway to participate in the family tradition.

5) Grabs marshmallows straight from the bag and stuffs as many as they can into their mouth before anyone notices.

6) Whines until someone toasts the marshmallow for them.

7) Puts their marshmallow over the fire, zones out and then pulls out a burnt stick, wondering where the marshmallow went.

Kerr Family Trip 2008 Awards

As we wind down our vacation in the Newburg, NY KOA (motto: welcome to NY, now empty your wallet) I've been reflecting on our journey and some of the things we've seen and done. Here are the awards for best, worst and most unusual.
-Justin

Best Soundtrack
"Go" by the Newsboys (wherever we go, dat's where da party's at!)

Most Picturesque Scenery
Shenandoah Valley, VA

Favorite Road Food
Jack Links Teriyaki Flavored Beef Jerky

Favorite Road Game
20 Questions (Best player-Princess Git Er Done)

Most Unusual Game
Road Kill Count

Most Fun Excursion
Hershey's Chocolate World

Scariest KOA
Tulsa, OK

Best KOA
Elizabethtown, PA

Best Catfish & Hush Puppies
Cock of the Walk Restaurant, Nashville

Worst Detour
Route 250 near the OH and WV border

Best Impulsive Stop
Lincoln's Homestead Cabin, IL

Worst Impulsive Stop
KFC Buffet

Most Frequent Stop
(tie) Wally World and Starbucks

Best Shutterbugs
(tie) Princess Buttercup and Princess Git Er Done

Worst Swimmer
Baby

Rarest License Plate
Utah

Best Discovery
Finding we had an extra day of travel available to us

Worst Discovery
Dumping the waste tanks in sandals

Best Time of Day
Arriving at camp early

Worst Time of Day
Arriving at camp late

Favorite Non-Human Traveling Companion
Francois the GPS

Best Meal
Good & Plenty, Smokehouse, PA

Worst Meal
KFC Buffet, Virginia

Nicest Waitress
Dana at Granite City, MO Waffle House

Evil Plan Exposed (aka Lunch)

I have discovered a nefarious plan for world domination right here in the US. It is now my firm belief that the Pennsylvania Dutch are going to subjugate the world. How will they do this? Through a restaurant known as the Good & Plenty. Yes, I know it sounds innocent but don't let the name fool you. Allow me to tell you how I discovered this.

On our way out of Elizabethtown, we decided to drive through the Pennsylvania Dutch area. After visiting a replica of the Tabernacle, we were looking for a place to eat that would serve local food. We didn't come all this way to eat at McDonald's. We found a family style restaurant owned by a lovely Mennonite couple and decided to give it a try.

We were seated at tables about 20 feet long. Already on the table was rhubarb compote, chow chow, peppered cabbage, cottage cheese, whipped butter and apple butter. I should have realized what was in store. Our charming waitress, Cindy, came over with a plate of fresh baked white and whole wheat bread. Five minutes later, the gastronomic attack began. Cindy returned with huge bowls of fried chicken, roasted pork with sauerkraut, roast beef, sweet corn, stuffing, peas, mashed potatoes, gravy, and noodles. There was enough food to feed a football team. Baby of course rose to the challenge by standing up in his high chair and putting his plate out for Cindy to fill.

Now, there's some PSYOPS going on here. First of all, the sign says "all you can eat" so your brain automatically goes into "I haven't been fed in weeks" mode rather than staying in rational human mode. Second, it's a bit pricey so you feel obligated to eat your money's worth. Third, as Princess Buttercup confirmed with Cindy, it's all thrown out if you don't eat it so there's a measure of "I don't want to waste food!" as well. And to make sure you'll make a pure USDA choice pig out of yourself, they give you a sweet waitress who's like your mom and asks, "Can I get you anything else? Are you sure? I'd be glad to get you something."

So we ate. And we ate. And when we couldn't eat another bite, Cindy said, "Let me get you your dessert!" She returns with a bowl of orange jello, coconut cream pudding, and two pies! Two Pies! You sadists!! The she mentions those two magic words that instantly over ride any common sense left: ice cream.

By this time we were food stupid. But we ate dessert anyway and became food comatose. We couldn't think a coherent thought if some one did it for us. We were so stuffed that 3:00 Disco Hour was cancelled due to digesting. And that's when it occurred to me. Thousands and thousands of people walk into Good & Plenty each year; normal sensible people. After a meal there, they leave as zombies, unable to do more than stagger around repeating "Wow, I'm stuffed." What great way to conquer the world. I know for a fact that they sucked out my brains while we ate because as we left, stuffed as we were, we still bought whoopie pies in their bakery.

The fiends.

Hello from Happiness

After a minor miscommunication with the car rental people (new slogan- "Enterprise! We Let You Down!"), we took off for Hershey, PA about 10:00 this morning. 

For those of you who have never been, it's not just a factory, it's an entire town built by Milton Hershey and his foundation. There's a library, a zoo, a golf course/resort area, an amusement park, the factory and a place called Chocolate World which was created to take the place of tours of the actual factory. We went to Chocolate World because we didn't feel like spending $180.00 to get all seven of us into the amusement park. We took a small ride through Chocolate World which showed how chocolate is made, and then a trolley ride through town. The trolley was good because it wasn't just a ride with someone droning on about buildings. The guide and another person sang and acted out parts and made the trip entertaining.

After a quick lunch, we hit the gift shop. What ill-informed lunkhead decided to take five overeager kids to a humongous chocolate store?!? Oh yeah, me. I was actually surprised that they didn't carry anything different than what could be found in a regular grocery store.  I thought here at Mecca, you would be able to buy the chocolate at a discount or see variations that they were testing (I've had orange flavored Kit Kats that were to die for). Alas, the same stuff.  This however, did not keep us from filling our basket.  We've been told that there is an M&M factory nearby but they don't give tours.  Perhaps that's just as well (Mrs. Kerr?  Please get your head off the conveyor belt.  Mrs. Kerr?  Please stop eating.)

Now we are back at camp and, after telling the kids for the past two days that we will have time to swim when we get to Hershey, THEY CLOSE THE POOL BECAUSE IT'S TOO COLD. But I'm ok because I have a big bag o'chocolate. So we played mini-golf instead. Princess Buttercup asked for a golf ball that matched her outfit. And she wonders why we call her Buttercup.

Tonight we finally made s'mores so our RV trip can be authentic. 'Cause you know, it ain't real 'til the fire's going and the s'mores come out.  It was a lovely time, hanging by the fire with the cherubs making yummy snacks. Bo mentioned that in two more nights we'd be home and I was actually sad about it.  All this wandering around and seeing new things has been a lot of fun. Despite 14 days on the road with five kids in this tin can, Bo and I are talking about when the next trip should be.  If only someone would pay me for being nomadic.....

Pictures!

Elizabethtown, PA

This has been a WallyWorld free day!

The problem with hours and hours of driving and chatting with the Bo Hunkmeister is that we start to develop a lot of jokes between us that we just find hysterical but are hard to explain to others. For example:

• Bolatte Hunkaccino
  
• Hush Puppies with crack sauce
  
• Nava-hoe! (we're mocking a truck company with an unfortunate sense of corporate identity)

See, I'm about ready to wet myself from laughing and I bet the rest of you are scratching your heads and wondering if I've fallen off my meds.

Ok, moving on from the obscure and uninteresting....

This morning, I asked the family what their most favorite part of the trip and least favorite part of the trip was so far. I thought the results were interesting.

Bo
favorite parts: time with the kids, 3:00 pm karaoke hour
least favorite parts: when the kids fuss and need discipline, monkey butt

Raven
favorite parts: watching the scenery go by, eating out
least favorite part: getting in late to camp and everyone (including me) is fussy

Princess Buttercup
favorite part: everything! (which means she can't make up her mind)
least favorite part: can't think of one

Princess Git Er Done
favorite part: swimming
least favorite part: getting into the deep end of Grandpa's pool

W. Bear
favorite part: Little Rock KOA pool
least favorite part: falling into Grandpa's pool

Tater
favorite part: Little Rock KOA pool
least favorite part: falling into Grandpa's pool
(Tater sometimes has difficulty coming up with his own ideas)

Baby
favorite part: running around, honking the car horn early in the morning
least favorite part: being in the car seat, being told he can't drive

What to do on a rainy night...

Watch the Addams Family tv show on Daddy's laptop!

A Day of Not So Good Decisions

(This post is actually about Monday but Wytheville wifi didn't work)

We are here in Wytheville, VA at our campsite and I'm a bit concerned. The campers next to us just pulled up and they are setting up cages for small dogs. I see three so far.

KFC
We've been seeing signs for a KFC buffet. Buffet? KFC? You mean like fresh KFC yumminess? All you can eat? So, desiring early coronary bypass surgery, we decide to stop in. We were charged $4.69 for each child even though they each only ate a biscuit and a few scoops of corn. Not to mention there was not anything new on the buffet line, and only one choice of chicken. One choice? From the folks who brought you ten different ways to combine chicken, salt and fat? The "all you can eat" buffet was more like the "we're too lazy to dish it out for you" buffet. Arrgh!

Tennessee DOT
We were traveling down I-40 west of Knoxville when we saw signs saying "I-40 closed next 43 miles." Not being familiar with the area, Bo and I pulled off and planned another route. The sign said "I-40 closed." Not just under construction but closed, as in, no cars. So we shut down Francois (he was having a bit of a melt down anyway-"recalculating route! recalculating route!") and planned to take route 70. I wish those clever cartographers told us that this road was narrow and curvy. We lost an hour and a half. Now I'm all for scenic routes but when you tell five cuties that we can swim if we get to the camp early, time becomes an issue. When we finally get done seeing all there is to see of southern Knoxville, we get back on I-40 only to see no signs that there was or ever will be any construction. Arrrghh!!!

Dump Ye Tanks While Ye May.
Our previous KOA didn't not provide a waste pipe at our site. Rather than spend time at the waste dump near the office, we said "We'll just dump the tanks tonight in Wytheville." Now we're at Wytheville, it's late, our site doesn't have a waste pipe and our tanks are 2/3 full. Piddle lightly kids! Arrrrghhhh!!!

One more arrghh! and I will have to break out the liquor Grandpa sent us home with. Thankfully, today is over, it's cool sleeping weather and tomorrow we head for two days in Hershey, Pennsylvania. If I don't blog, it's because I am in a chocolate coma.

Ahhhhh!!!

When Road Trip Boredom Sets In

3:00 Disco Hour from Justin Kerr on Vimeo.

Helpful Tip For RV Dads

Never, ever dump your waste tanks while wearing sandals. Ever.

Francois

We have named our GPS system Francois in honor of the goofy French voice we accidently set it on one day. At first I was a little resistant to the new technology; I come from Rhode Island after all. However, Francois has proven himself to be quite handy. In fact, I like tinkering with Francois so much that Bo is getting a little jealous. While Francois is quite knowledgeable, and has that charismatic voice, he's no Bo Hunkmeister. Let me tell you why:

Francois can lead us to Starbucks but he can't buy me the latté I like.

Francois can lead us to the KOA campground but doesn't take the kids to the playground so I can get dinner set up.

Francois can't rub my feet.

Francois can be a bit of a nag if I miss a turn. Bo makes me laugh.

Francois has no appreciation for yard sales.

Francois has no sense of humor. Bo can turn the most tedious situation into a chuckle.

Consider It All Joy

Life isn't always a bowl of cherries on the road. Sometimes, too little sleep, too much sugar and unmet expectations.....well, let me just tell you, it ain't pretty.

The day started well enough. We had decided to attend a church Bo Hunkmeister spotted on our way into the Little Rock KOA . He set his alarm not realizing that his PDA was still on Eastern Time and not Central Time which we're in until Virginia tomorrow. So we were all up by 6:30 am. But, on the bright side, this gave us time to make french toast for breakfast, pack up the RV and make the first service at the church. And our day began well; very well in fact.

This church was gi-huge-ic. They had a main building with offices, a worship center (that's a sanctuary equivalent), multipurpose rooms and class rooms and they still needed six (yes, six) trailers out back to handle the overflow of children. Their membership is currently at 1,000 and they started eight years ago in a high school auditorium. We were greeted at the front door by no less than three people. After getting all our particulars, they escorted the kids to their classes. The kiddies must have sensed something cool because no one took the option of staying with Mom and Dad. We had some great worship time and a good teaching on James 1 (hey Bill P.) After the teaching someone played "It Is Well With My Soul" on violin. For those of you who know me, I've got a soft spot for those old timey hymns.

Afterwards, we went to get Tater and Baby. Tater actually said, "That was fun!" The older kids came tumbling out of their class with chocolate bars in hand so I needn't tell you how highly they esteemed this church. All this to say, people of Little Rock, do yourself a favor and go to The Summit Church.

After church, we went up the road to Le Mart Wally to re-stock. This must have been one of the older ones because I've never seen one so small and sad looking. It actually had empty shelves. A Wal-Mart with empty shelves ~shakes head and sighs~ We got our stuff and beat a hasty retreat.

We got on the road late. Baby had trouble sleeping, it was hot and sweaty in the RV and toys were not working like they were supposed to. By the time we rolled into Nashville, most of the kids were a bit strung out and letting us know it.

The ray of sunshine in this little cloud though was dinner. We went to a place called Cock of the Walk for fried catfish. Bo and I got the sampler plate with some stuff for the kids. Wouldn't you know, corn bread, home made cole slaw and two enormous plates of fried everything were delivered to our table by an adorable waitress. We had chicken, shrimp, catfish, fries and hush puppies. Oh, the hush puppies...and that sauce! Mmmmm, I was lovin' me some sauce and hush puppies!

But back to our tale of woe. The kids barely held it together for dinner and completely fell apart getting ready for bed. Baby was rashy and we had nothing for his butt so our day ended not so well. But as Pastor Bill at The Summit Church taught us this morning:
1. a trial is not an obstacle to growth but the solitary road to growth
2. you never have to navigate the road without sufficient wisdom
3. this road, well navigated, yields incredible, eternal rewards.

I'm growin', I'm growin'!

Act Quickly, Limited Time Offer!

So Bo Hunkmeister and I, after much thought, have decided that the class "C" RV is the way to go. But we don't want to buy one of these used Cruise America ones because as Jeff Foxworthy so elegantly put it, "You don't want to put your key into something that has been rode that hard by that many people." However, we're going to need some help with a brand spankin' new RV. So here's the deal. For a limited time, we will be accepting donations towards the purchase of a tricked out, class "C" recreational vee-hickle. You can buy into this purchase at the following levels:

Level 1 "Benefactor": for a donation of $100, we will put your name, in a type face of your choosing, on the outside of the RV.

Level 2 "Bronze Star": for a donation of $200, we will put your name and your face on the outside of the RV.

Level 3 "Silver Star": for a donation of $300, we will Photoshop your picture on the RV so you look like a million bucks.

Level 4 "Gold Star": for a donation of $400, we will visit you during our cross-country tour (please have marshmallow Fluff and peanut butter ready for seven).

Level 5 "Platinum Star": for a donation of $500, we won't visit you (and therefore your house will remain intact)

Call Now! Operators are standing by!

Arkansas Baby!

Sorry I didn't blog yesterday. Nothing personal. No really, it's not you it's me. I think we should see other blogs. Wait, what am I saying....

It's not that yesterday was particularly busy. We hung out, swam and went to dinner. Baby did not try his buoy impersonation again but Tater, I guess feeling left out, decided to take the plunge. Grandpa's swimmie purchase the day before came in real handy and Tater just bounced in and out. So enough about yesterday, on to today's adventure.

First however, a hearty thank you to Grandpa and Grandma for hosting us. We had a lovely time at your house and hopefully did not leave too much of a mess behind. Bet it's reeeeaaallll quiet though, eh?

Despite our hosts' hospitality, I was kind of eager to get back on the road. I find this ironic considering I was born in and currently live in a city. What's an urban elitist like me doing being a highway junkie? (my apologies to Randy Travis). There's something about watching the rolling hills and fluffy clouds go by that I really like.

We also realized that we painted ourselves into a corner with our current itinerary. We'd be getting back home real late on Friday. We'd have to unpack, clean the RV and get it back to the rental place by 11:00 am the next day. Seeing as how it took us a full day to load the beast, we were not holding out hope that we could unload it in a hour or two. Also, since the RV spent a day in the service shop, we were entitled to an extra day. So now the current plan is to return to home on Saturday. That means an entire week on the road. And you know what? I'm kind of jazzed about that.

Anyway, we got on the road about 9:00 this morning. After about a mile of travel, and because Bo Hunkmeister knows how to take care of his woman, we pulled into a little coffee shack by the side of the road, The Cowgirl Coffee Cafe (tag line: "Have you had your Cowgirl yet?"). I think the young woman who waited on me was Daisy Duke's older, smarter sister. She was so friendly, I started to get irritated that she didn't care about my coffee needs. Come to find out she's got relations in Rhode Island. It's a small world.

Having chatted and with drink in hand, we got back on the road. Only to stop again at Pops. It's a place that has just about every soda in the world. I learned that Cheer Wine, a soda I had in North Carolina that no one could explain to me, is actually cherry soda. Please relay this important piece of information to your church, Dan.

Back on the road again, the kids were pretty much done with the license plate search and the highway bingo thing so Bo suggested we keep a list of road kill. Isn't he the sweetest? Princess Git Er Done kept track in her note book. It sounded like a morbid McDonald's order ("That's two opossum and one unidentified"). Counting the live cattle and horses by the side of the road is a futile task. There's just too many of them.

Things went smoothly until about 2:00 pm. Then the kids started getting antsy. What's a mom to do? Have a Dwight Yoakum Karaoke Hour! I like hearing my kids sing "Girl I'm thankin' you for teachin' me brand new ways to be cruel. If I find my mind, well I guess I'll just leave." We topped it off with a stop at an ice cream shop.

We pulled into Little Rock about 5:30 pm, deliriously happy to be in camp before the sun went down. We ate dinner, the kiddos swam for a bit and here we are. All nice and cozy in our camper, blogging. Life is good.

Easy Rider I'm Not

One of the cool things I was able to do on this trip was take a motorcycle ride with my dad. He has two bikes and we went out Friday afternoon for about three hours. Let me tell you, riding in Oklahoma is a lot different than riding in New England: flat, straight and 30 mph cross winds (and that's relatively calm). It was a great ride though. We stopped at a place called Pops, a retro style diner with over 500 different types of pop (translation for New Englanders: pop is mid western speak for soda). The other advantage to our ride was that it was a work day for most folks so we had the road to ourselves.

The ride was almost perfect except for one small thing. The bike my dad loaned me was a Honda Pacific Coast. It's basically a 850cc V-twin cruiser with a ton of plastic body panels that make it look like a giant scooter. It's a great bike: a smooth, quiet ride, very comfortable for long trips (I could have easily gone another three hours without getting monkey butt). I had convinced myself that it was more important to enjoy the ride than worry myself about such shallow things as whether I looked cool on the bike. That worked right up until we stopped at a convenience store for a much needed break (remember the pop?). There was an old timer sitting on a stool outside the convenience store when we came out to mount up. As I was started up my whisper-quiet bike, he looked over the bike and said, "Mus' be hard to git at the motor on that thang," to which I replied that, yes, the plastic panels did make it difficult to maintenance the bike. If he had stopped there my "easy rider" self image would have remained intact. But then he continued, "Well, they shore do make it look pretty." I could feel the testosterone leaking out onto the ground. I'm riding a "pretty" bike. Sleek. Streamlined. Unusual. Any of these adjectives would have been fine. But pretty?

So we took off to finish our ride and head for home. It was a great morning. On the open road with my dad, sun on my back and the wind in my face.

Maybe some flame decals might help.

-Justin

Edmond, OK Day 2

Praise God! Baby has not broken anything yet! That's not to say he hasn't caused his fair share of trouble (and perhaps used other people's share).

Yesterday morning we were greeted with Grandma making Scooby Doo waffles. Bo Hunkmeister and Grandpa then took the RV to the service place to get various and sundry things fixed. Of course, the RV place called today to say that the refrigerator worked just fine for them.

After lunch, Baby and Tater took a nap, the older kids went with Dad and Grandpa to the Cowboy Hall of Fame, and mom and grandma took a well deserved break from trying to keep Baby from killing himself.

Grandma's daughter and her family brought some over barbeque for dinner. You know you're in Oklahoma when even the pizza joint has fried okra on the menu. So dinner was fried okra, barbeque brisket, potato salad, and green beans cooked with fat back. Life was good.

Then came the swimming. This is where Baby showed us he has no fears. None. Zip. Nada. He would run around the edge of the pool throwing things in and fishing things out and then splash! In went Baby. Thankfully, Bo Hunkmeister was right by him and fished him out. After about two nano seconds of fussing, Baby was back at it. Have I ever told you my concerns about Baby being fearless? Anyway, about 15 minutes later, Baby went in for another dip. Luckily, J (Grandma's grandson) was in the water and got Baby out. J is in the Boy Scouts and I would be more than happy to write up a merit badge recommendation for him.

At this point, having had enough heart attacks, Grandpa grabbed his keys and his trusty side kick, Princess Git Er Done and headed for Wally World to get a life preserver. I took Baby inside and chained him put him to bed. Surprisingly, the evening became quite pleasant after that. Well, except for the tornado watch. After some discussion about how much danger we where really in, we went to bed. And slept through the next alarm. Thankfully, that too was just a watch and not an actual "time to kiss the tuckus good-by" warning.

Yes sir, not a dull moment here in OKC!

cue the Steppenwolf music

Grandpa and Bo Hunkmeister getting ready to roll

Not content to be left behind, Baby grabs Daddy's coat liner

Baby on his bike  (affectionately known as "Beep Beep")

Its hard to be intimidating when you look so cute.

"I'm off to catch up with the guys, Mom!"

Baby rides off into the sunset.....

Some Pictures

Things can get a little dicey towards the end of a day

Our new house.  Isn't it cute?

Mr. Lincoln?  I got your pizza here.

Yay! We Made It! In One Piece!

Are they adorable, or what?

Today we're in Edmond, Ohhhhhhh-klahoma, where the wind comes sweeping 'cross the plains. We're about 30 minutes north of Oklahoma City, where the wind doesn't sweep across the plains. Yesterday's trip here took only two hours or so but felt like an eternity. I think that's how it always is on the last bit of a journey.

Grandpa did some research on Edmond versus Providence. Providence has about twice the people of Edmond but Edmond has about three times as much land. For you native Rhode Islanders, that means here they have to travel more than 10 minutes to get their coffee milk.

I just realized today that I have no idea what day it is. Even better, I'm quite content with that. Bo Humkmeister asked "hypothetically" if we were to have the resources necessary, would I be willing to just continue in our trip straight to the Pacific. I think I would (y'all back in Providence, don't be gettin' worried)

We had a lovely time at Grandma and Grandpa's place yesterday afternoon. Although, I have to say I was a bit nervous when I first walked into the kitchen. Its a lovely kitchen done with white cabinets and stainless steel appliances. Instantly I had visions of just how many dirty hand prints Tater and Baby were going to leave on everything.

Grandpa brought a 12" cake to celebrate my birthday and Baby's. I think we'll be eating cake for a few days. They also bought a tricycle for Baby. Which he then tried to drive into the pool more than once. Thankfully, Grandpa padlocked the gate to the pool. No mere latch can hold Baby back.

From Tulsa, OK

The KOA we stayed in tonight did not have WiFi. I was annoyed with that. How spoiled am I? We use a GPS to find the nearest WalMart, a cell phone to call ahead to the KOA's, the laptop to let y'all know what we're doing. My goodness, how did anyone go RVing before 2000?

I'm sorry if I sound edgy. Yesterday I had my first frappuchino. Its been three days since my last froufy coffee drink (again, how spoiled am I?) I was going through withdrawal. My tongue was dry, my ankles swollen, my vision blurry. The day before, I actually broke down and had a cappuccino from a machine at a truck stop. While eating beef jerky. Does that qualify for being multi-cultural?

Oh yeah, we're on a trip and its not all about me....

Yesterday morning provided lots of blog fodder and all before 10:00 am! We started the day at a Waffle House down the road. Sunny day, Waffle House, Patsy Cline on the jukebox. Could life get any better?

Soon after ordering, four bus drivers walked in and ordered. Pork Chops, Sirloin Steaks, Smothered Pork Chop Dinner and Steak and Eggs. People! Pace yourselves! It's only nine o'clock in the morning!

We've been playing a game while on the road. The kids are to collect as many signatures as they can from various people. Not complete strangers, mind you but store clerks, park rangers, waitresses, etc. So our girls asked our hale and hearty Waffle House waitress Dana if she would sign. Not only did she sign, but she took matters into her own hands. "Donna!" she yelled to the cook, "Git over here and sign this! Mike (a customer), you too!" When Bo Hunkmeister pointed out that she didn't charge us for a waffle, she replied, "I ain't worried about it."

Speaking of the kids, at breakfast, Bo and I asked them how they have been liking the trip so far. The girls said, "Love it!" W. Bear said, "This right here!" Tater said, "Huh?" (Tater is a blonde who is not helping disprove the stereotype.) Baby was too busy horking down some waffles to answer.

The big event for the day was going to the St. Louis Arch. Here's some trivia: it's official name is the Jefferson National Expansion Monument. Bo said it was the McDonald's arches but one fell. That plays on so many levels (national expansion vis a vis McDonald's for those of you scratching your heads). Anyway, the arch is really a lot more beautiful in real life. Its smaller than I though but real shiny. How do they get it to stay so shiny? And its right on the shores of the Mississippi. The funny part is there's a plaque just before you enter "An Excellence in Engineering Plaque" I don't know why but my first thought was, "Well duh, let's see anyone else build something this large and this cool and not have it fall into the river!" (still hadn't had my frappuchino yet so I was a bit punchy)

We also met up with some Vietnam Veteran bikers. These gentlemen were headed for Washington, DC for an annual event they call "Run for the Wall" Some of these guys had been on the road for weeks and had weeks to go. Rock on guys!

Last night we settled in at the Tulsa KOA. Right across the street from a casino. I asked Bo if he wanted to go and he said, "Two words for you, nest egg." Tell what movie that was from and I'll be really impressed.

I have children?

While the Domestic Goddess has been dutifully recording the day to day (and sometimes moment to moment) events, I've been occupied with driving, pumping gas (takes about $160 to fill up the RV) and finding the next WalMart. I've also been thinking about my kids. Living in such close quarters with your children forces you to either get to know them better or run screaming from the RV. I've chosen the former and I think I'm better for it.

In the mix of kids we have, the older ones get more attention from me because they are able to form complete sentences. We can carry on a conversation, play a board game or enjoy an episode of the Addams Family together. The youngest two are, for the most part, bodies that live in our house and eat food. Having spent the last four days in close quarters with a four year old and a two year old, I've learned to relate to them on their level. In other words, I sit next to them and let them put stickers on my face. Not only have I come to appreciate the younger ones, but I've learned to live in (relative) harmony with all five and discover their differences and idiosyncrasies (thank goodness I don't have any quirks). Hopefully, my children have also come to see I'm not simply "Mr. No" but can have fun with them.

I've really enjoying our time together so far. We haven't been able to make as many stops as I would like because Dad didn't calculate time and distance very well (we're averaging 400 miles a day) and we've been moving at a fairly brisk pace. However, as some guy whose name I can't remember once said (I think), "it's not the destination but the journey."

Gateway to the West

We're not in New England any more. All the Dunkin' Donut highway signs have been replaced with Waffle House signs (would you like smoking? or vaguely smelling like smoke?)

Again we got on the road at 10:00. And it was a pretty uneventful day; gorgeous scenery, snarky comments about billboards, etc. We stopped for lunch and ragweed bouquets (how were the kids to know they would make mom sneeze?). We were going to get into Granite City a little late, but that's ok. Until we saw the sign. Lincoln Log Cabin Home. Wow. Abe's old place. Only 17 miles. You don't get to visit that very often. And we were looking for a dinner stop anyway. Why not dine with the Lincoln folks? The sun was even shining through the clouds over the spot. We had to go. So we followed the signs off the beaten path. Then further off the beaten path. Then, going down a one lane, barely paved road, Princess Buttercup said, "If we don't find the place soon, can we turn around?" I thought OK, but I'm not really sure how to get back to the highway.

Finally we come upon the park. Thankfully the gates were still open and we drove on in. However, the visitor center was closed. Surprisingly, there was no one else there. This is the original Lincoln Log Cabin! How come we were the only ones with this idea? We walked around the park and saw the recreation of the farm the Lincolns 'might' have had. The farm animals were there but no people. We took a picture of what 'might' have been the Lincoln cabin. The kids were impressed. Then we had dinner in the parking lot (picadillo with rice). And we got to Granite City at 9:30 pm.

I must take this moment here to say how impressed I am with the kids. They haven't been able to blog because we get into camp late but the oldest two have been writing up a storm in their journals. I think Princess Buttercup updates her journal every 15 minutes (10:15 Mom whines about no Starbucks 10:30 beautiful trees 10:45 Tater singing Dwight Yokam). Anyway, these poor little critters are within 10 feet of each other all day and no one has sustained a serious injury yet as a result of their sibling. Here's some samples of conversation:

Mom: If you want these crackers, you have to pay me with a smooch.
Tater: Ok. You have to pay me too.
Mom: Oh yeah?
Tater: Yeah, $70.00

Tater (in a very dramatic way): My shirt is wet! I'll never smile again!
W. Bear: Don't worry Tater, I'll smile for you.

So we're still having a fun time. Tune in tomorrow for the news from Tulsa, OK

The News From Buckeye Lake

* I tried to post this last night but couldn't get internet access until this morning. Are we in the 21st century or what?!?

We started the yesterday morning raining and looking for a WallsMart. All I can say is I'm so glad we were not tent camping last night (meaning 5/17). As soon as we pulled into our campsite and Bo plugged in the RV, a downpour started. The idea of trying to pitch a tent in that kind of rain sends shivers down my spine.

Anyway, our refrigerator is not working and we needed a waterproof cooler. But how bad off are we when we have a cell phone, iPod, laptop, GPS and a WallyWorld every 10 miles? Driving through Pennsylvania yesterday, the houses were few and far between. Bo asked me if I could live in such a rural area. I said I need my Starbucks. He pointed out a trailer with a sign that read "Espresso Express, A Drive Thru Cafe" (is a drive thru on a trailer an oxymoron?) No, I told Bo, that's not good enough. I need free trade, shade grown coffee where the proceeds go to finance micro businesses in underdeveloped countries. I expect a lot from my coffee these days.

Yesterday we got on the road about 10:00 am We stopped for lunch in Clarion, PA. After lunch, Bo said I should have a go at driving. Not ten minutes later, I was driving through a monster hail storm. I should have seen this as the omen it was (more on that later). We pulled over to wait out the storm and then drove through to Youngstown, OH. From there, we went south towards Wheeling, WV along the Ohio River. It was really a beautiful drive. Lots of vistas, trees and huge, old factories and coal plants. The only word I can think to describe them is majestic but I'm not sure why. Bo said he was impressed by how expansive the plants and factories were, but how the towns birthed by them seem to be dying. It was like we were passing the remnant of an industrial giant.

My omen came to pass in Wheeling. We were headed south on Route 7 and needed to pick up Interstate 70. I, however, misjudged a turn and went up Route 250. For those of you not intimately familiar with Wheeling, Route 250 is a narrow road with no shoulders and a steep incline. This is normally not a big issue unless you are driving a 30' long by 10' wide vehicle that maneuvers like a pregnant woman in the morning (I speak from experience). We finally get to the top of Mt. Sinai Route 250 and find a gentleman to get directions from. We ask how to get to I-70 and he says just go back down the hill. I was hoping he wouldn't say that. So like a tank trying to go down a roller coaster track, we go back down Route 250.

The kids have been great. I'm really surprised by how they've taken to this trip. The only one not really into it is Baby because he can't run around and break things as much as he's used to. Hopefully, tomorrow we can post some pictures they've been taking.

Today we're off to St. Louis, MO (pray for us because this is the longest part of the trip) I've been through Pennsylvania and Ohio quite a few times but tomorrow I step off into new territory and I'm quite jazzed about it.

Hello Bellefonte, PA!

We made it! Four hours past schedule but we made it! We are at the Bellefonte KOA. Can't tell you much about it because it's dark. However, the kiddies are sleeping soundly and that's a beautiful scene. We actually got on the road at 9:16 am this morning. But after gassing up, and a Wally World stop (WalMart for you non-snarky types), we didn't get on the highway until 11:00 am. But we had a good trip overall.

Our current praise list:
1. Baby didn't break anything
2. We didn't lose any of the kids
3. We didn't pick up any extra ones
4. The kids had fun taking lots of pictures....lots and lots of pictures....of trees..... and each other.....and more trees....and some trees

We could use some prayer for:
1 The RV! as Bo Hunkmeister says, "Looks like she's been rode hard and put away wet." To us who speak English and not Texan, this means she's got a few flaws. Like the a/c unit leaks when it rains. And its raining now.
2. That Baby can take some naps tomorrow. As I mentioned, we rolled in pretty late so he didn't get to bed until 9:30, waaaay past his normal bedtime.

Okay, I'm all out of clever and I need to sleep. Tune in tomorrow for news from Buckeye Lake, Ohio!

T minus one

I'm tired.

I'm very, very tired.

We got the RV this morning and spent all day loadin' the thing up.  My pocket book now weighs 2 tons from all the little "Oh, I can't forget this!" things I put in it. Every time I crossed off something from my list of things to do/bring, two more things got added on.  But it's 8:30 pm now and we're done packing.  I'm sure when we get back, we'll realize that we didn't need half the stuff but hey, I'm a mom so there's lots of "just in case" stuff.  Tater thankfully stopped asking me about how many matchbox cars he could bring.  He replaced that question with,

"Are we leaving yet?" 

"Tomorrow, Tater."

~two minutes later

"Are we leaving yet?"

"Tomorrow, Tater."

~two minutes later

"Are we leaving yet?"

"See if Daddy needs your help, Tater."

So now I'm blogging with my feet up, the kiddies are trying to sleep and Bo Hunkmeister is balancing the checkbook before we go.  If I post from Rhode Island tomorrow, that means I spent a little too much at WallsMart getting ready for this trip. Goodnight!

T minus two....

Me and the kids are all in a frenzy packing. Everyone has just gotten over the bad news that they can only bring one stuffed animal, not a big one and a small one, not two small ones, JUST ONE.

Tater, my second boy, is in charge of packing some cars to bring along. Every two minutes he asks, "How many cars?" I say, "Ten, dear" then we repeat this over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over.......

I bought some disposable sippy cups for Baby. Princess Git Er Done reads the package and says "Tossable? Does that mean these cups are for throwing up in?" Uhhhhh....no

I could quite possibly be vegetative by Saturday.

T minus four and counting....

Well, its four more days until we go traipsing off across the country and we still need to do the following things:

1. get shower gift for neighbor (won't be at the shower, but she's a real sweetheart and we missed the wedding)
2. give the neighbor instructions about the cat
3. pray that Baby travels well
4. stop the newspaper delivery
5. stop the mail delivery
6. pray that Baby doesn't trash something in the RV
7. make sure we have all the food we need to bring with us
8. make sure the kids have enough presentable clothes (its amazing how much ripped, stained, too small stuff they wear day to day that goes under the radar)
9. pray that Baby doesn't injure himself
10. make sure we have enough drugs for every one
11. gather up the toys for the trip
12. pray that Baby doesn't injure anyone
13. pack the kids' goodies bags (its six hours a day in a tin can, the least I can do is give them a treat)
14. make sure we have all the educational stuff together ('cause I'm a home schooler and I can't help myself)
15. pray that Baby doesn't wear us out
16. make sure the dude fixing our bathroom knows what's going on.
17. reschedule all the doctor's appointments we're going to miss because I was too lazy to look at my calendar while planning the dates for this trip
18. pray that Baby doesn't trash the grandparents' house
19. clean the house in case a burglar breaks in
20. do all the laundry so we have the full assortment of torn/ill fitting clothes to choose from when packing
21. make sure the iPod has all the tunes and teaching seminars on it
22. make sure we have enough batteries to power all the flashlights and toys we're bringing
23. pray that Baby comes home with us

I think its easier to get a shuttle into space than plan a vehicular trip with small children.

Go West, Young Family

A year ago I took my family on our first RV trip. Dawn and I kept our goals small and our expectations low. We rented an RV and took a 4-day trip to New Hampshire. Our destination was only 200 miles away so, if the trip went bad, we could hightail it back home in just a few hours.

Much to our surprise, the trip was a great success. By success I mean we came back with the same number of people we left with and the RV didn't end up a smoldering heap in a ditch. In fact, we were so pleased by our experience that we decided to do it again this year but this time extend our time on the road and see more of the country. We settled on Oklahoma City as our destination (all the native New Englanders reading this just asked themselves, "why?") and started planning our trip.

This year's journey would require more planning, more money and more patience than my wife and I had mustered during our trip to New Hampshire. But we both love road trips and seeing what new adventure might be over the next hill. To record our adventure, we've created this blog. Dawn has her own blog (the domestic goddess) as do I (newfangled.com), but we thought a separate travel blog would be a good place to compile our experiences.

So, for our small but loyal audience, enjoy.

-Justin